Damn it! made a fool of myself earlier once again.
its soo fucking hard. i can't help it, i try not to think about her, but, i do. i try to forget her but i cant ugh. why is it so hard for me, everywhere i go, iverything i see, everything i do reminds me of her. i see a movie, i remember her. i either see her in the movie or i start thinking about wether or not she'll like it. i'll listen to music, and i'll start thinking about her favorite songs. i went to see a play today, and i saw her in the play, i saw her sitting next to me. i see her all over the place, i compare all the women with her. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. I'm watching Southpark, and Stan was just dumped, wow, thats funny. if i could only put emotion out on paper, or on the screen. i need to clear my head. i think i'm going to start running in the morning by myself, and not wait on brian anymore.

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