I broke down yesterday.
I called the free hotline for employee stress management thing, and I broke down.
It all started Wednesday night. We went out to catch some Pokemon (yes I play get over it) we had some Starbucks snacks before heading out into the shopping center. And while we were sitting and eating she says;
-So why were you smiling in the bedroom while you were looking at your phone?
-(I couldn't remember this incident) im not sure what you're even talking about. I came home smiling and in a really good mood, I know you had a stressful day, so I wanted to cheer you up. (She had been texting all day saying things like I hate the world and life sucks)
-when you were in the bedroom you smiled when you looked at your phone I saw you but you didn't see me. You smiled when you grabbed your phone who were you talking to?
-you mean when I was charging my phone? When I went in after arriving from work? I wasn't talking to anyone, I got a link from J(Guy from work). But wait it isn't even about that. I'm tired of your lack of trust of your jealousy, at your lack of self esteem. I can't handle you anymore. I can't do this anymore. I'm tired of your insecurity.
I stood up and went Pokemon hunting with K. When she caught up she asked me to slow down. We weren't even walking fast. She thought we were running so she decided to walk off when we stopped momentarily. Well long story slightly shorter her and I didn't talk the rest of the evening or the next morning. By noon Thursday she was saying things like I want to run away. I want to drive as far as I can and spend a whole weekend out on my own. To which I said lets get you in a safe place where you can be by yourself and that way you can sort yourself out. I tried getting her to calm down and at which point I just couldn't handle it so I called the hotline.
I broke down I balled I told the lady everything. Everything. Going to start seeing a shrink soon.

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