Riping away from something is the hardest thing anyone can ever make. it hurts me so much. tonight i acted like i wasn't interested but all that went trhrough my mind was that i was happy for her. that she could do it. i wanted to tell her not to give up. if anyone should give up it should be me, the odds are against me, i don't care what she says, she has more ability than i do. i don't want her to move in with that michelle girl, i want her to live with me. she is looking better. i don't think she ever looked bad, i've always found her attractive. the other day when she said that she wasn't sexually attracted to me made me feel shitty. idk it sux. it hurts so much to be apart. i want to talk to her like we always do. but i can't let myself. i want to hold her. my heart hurts. i miss her so. i can't let myself get emotionally involved with her, i've been doing so good for the last two days. i can't think of it.

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