Just got asked to go to a happy hour by a lady at work I find attractive. It felt good for a second but it really means nothing to either of us, I just think she's decently attractive. She had short pants on one day and I realized she has kankles; I found that to be rather unattractive for some reason.

I enjoy working with her, she's pretty down to Earth, she used to be a bartender, she lives a bit of an "alternative" lifestyle from what I understand. I've tried to be as helpful as I can in teaching her what little I know about our line of work, she's hardworking and willing to learn. She didn't go to college, and thus didn't start her career traditionally. I like people like this because they usually have a bigger drive and make a bigger effort to do things that make sense, not just because "this is the way I was taught" or " this is the way we've always done it".

This is lady Y; one of her colleagues, a person I've mentioned here, we'll call her lady C, is being removed from my project with lady K. Apparently last month C was reprimanded for not accounting for large sums of money, not reporting that we were millions above our board approved budget (I flagged this back in may sometime, only we were 1 - 2 MM over). So the company hired K, someone with about 9 years of experience, someone who knows what she's doing. I had a meeting with her the other day, sort of to measure her knowledge, and she surprised me, immediately she started asking where's the detail, why aren't we tracking this, and how are we tracking that, she asked all the right questions, and brought up all the important items. I told her she was my new favorite colleague because it was refreshing to have someone on the team with the right mentality. I mentioned this to the spouse and the following day she had an emotional breakdown, she wigged out, saying I was going to leave her for K and that I was going to have an affair and to just be honest with her, to tell her that I find her attractive and all this other slew of shit.

The funny thing is that among these three women I find K the least attractive. Physically speaking, C is the most attractive, but she's a hood rat, not very attractive. Then Y, she's moderately attractive, minus her kankles. Her personality is ok, I like her "alternative" lifestyle, but she's a little loud and can be a bit annoying. Lastly there's K, I don't find her attractive at all, and her voice is rather annoying. I think it's funny that L flipped out over her when I work and have traveled with much more attractive women.

Not being able to talk this honestly with L, I think, is a negative aspect of our relationship. She can't even think that I find women even mildly attractive because she wigs out, even though I've explained that attractive doesn't mean I'm going to go after them in any way shape or form.

A year or two ago we got into a huge argument over this. We were grocery shopping, and there was a very attractive lady with yoga pants on. Holy Moly. Lord have mercy. She was smokin'. Naturally I looked at her, hell I'll admit, I may have even stared even at her. L asked me if I looked at her, I denied it. She said don't lie to me boy, I saw you, the way you were oogeling her, the way you were admiring her, the way you fantasized about her. I was like "Uh WTF mate" I only looked at her trying to cop a look at her butt is all. She lost it, she had an emotional breakdown, long story short; we stopped speaking for about a month.

It's tough to know that I don't even have a friend in her.

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